Schedule: Monday - Sunday - 00:00 - 24:00

My life as I know it will never be the same

My life as I know it will never be the same

I just completed going through "Drink" by Ann Dowsett Johnston. I have just turned 47. Even though on the inside I am a complete mess, I always try look cheerful by putting a smile on my face trying to look happy in front of the others.

While I have known for quite a while that I have issues with liquor, this book made me go up against them. however strangely support me to acknowledge I am not the only one. Several problems in my life caused my misuse of alcohol and the usual reasons such as hereditary factors, and indiscipline does not feature. Life was too harsh for me, specifically the part of growing up - I was unpopular at my age, my dad was a serial cheater, even my mother had low self esteem issue because she was overweight at that time, I got no one to look after me except myself. My life eventually made me an independent person.


Strangely, I never drank in secondary school. However, I went to university at a reputable institution which takes pride in its academic excellence....while students prided themselves on their ability to party. At that moment my journey of experiencing a free youth's world began, I often behave inappropriately - I tend to got hangovers because too much drinking last night, I tend passed out, and occasionally having inappropriate sexual activities.


I discovered the only manner for a fat girl to have a sexual intercourse was to be drunk with equally as drunk boys.


When I look back, I remember one day I woke up in a frat house in Montreal, beside me there is this guy totally naked in bed'.. But I felt relieved because I could've been end up in hospital, got badly injured, or worst I could've been pregnant, but I didn't.


Then life goes on - I dated a nice guy, at the same time registered as a nurse and achieved a masters degree. On weekend we hang out together, occasionally drank wine together, and when I'm not together with him I would buy me a bottle for myself.

Time flew, and so did my life; I got married, had two kids and during the months preceding their birth I avoided alcohol. Be that as it may, then as life continued, maturing guardians, ADHD kid, worried, compulsive worker spouse with outrage issues.....wine on ends of the week got to be wine Thursday-Sunday.


We made our wine so there was always so much available and so I began the habit of opening a bottle every night. Without anyone's knowledge, I would make myself a drink after which I would place the glasses where no one would look for them.

Immediately I arrived home - and encounter the household disorder, getting supper, attempting to receive ADHD boy to pay attention on homework while prying the other person off his iPod'.. I can just think about combining that drink'..which I keep filling again till finally I become asleep or faint. In the mornings, first thing I carry out is examine my I-phone to observe whom I may have unknowingly texted while drunk.


Be that as it may, there is more - two years prior I got to be distinctly required in an extremely serious enthusiastic issue with one of my child's companion's fathers. The affair never proceeded to sexual interaction (except for a few hugs and standing beside each other at sporting events) but if any of you have learnt about (or undergone) an emotional affair, the effect can be just as dramatic and powerful, if not more so than a sexual relationship. I was on seventh heaven - all the time my phone showed a message'.oh the rush of feelings. Usually we exchanged texts late into night, at times in the middle of the night, while we were at duty.


I was content at this high point in my life. The relationship was getting dangerously near intersection the sexual line and he pulled back. I have been emotionally down and sorrowful over this loss....and the drinking escalated.

My alcoholic beverage comforted me they alleviated the pain.

I am so embarrassed as I think back over my life. The drunken episodes:

  • Being Completely hammered last Christmas at a cocktail party
  • I even got wasted at my sister's 50th birthday
  • I randomly sent rant messages through my iPhone, I can't even control myself at that time.
  • Shouting fits in front of my children
  • Boxing my husband in the face
  • An aggregate yelling battle one night when my child had a companion dozing over

I am in guidance which has been an epiphany'..plus studying Ann's book and now detecting this site and studying alike narratives. I sense like I am heading home.